Porn and Sexually compulsive Behaviour/addiction.
Sexual addiction has been described as “the athlete’s foot of the mind.” It never goes away. It is always asking to be scratched, promising relief. To scratch, however, is to cause pain and to intensify the itch Carnes (2001).
“Human sexuality is a powerful drive and one that we’ve both celebrated and denigrated throughout history. It is the one of the most healing forces known to man, and one of the most devastating. People who struggle with sex addiction have been taken over by their sexual appetites. Rather than being their master, they have become their slave.” Hall (2013).
If you feel your sexual behaviour has spiralled out of control and is having or could potentially have a detrimental effect on your life now is the time to seek help. If you are a partner who either suspects or has discovered your partner has become controlled by sexually compulsive behaviour, I can help you navigate your way through the pain and anguish.
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Loss of desire
Lack or reduced interest in sexual arousal must be evident in at least three of six diagnostic criteria (American Psychiatric Association, 2013):
- Absent or reduced interest in sexual activity
- Absent or reduced sexual or erotic thoughts or fantasies
- Absent or reduced initiation of sexual activity and typically being nonresponsive to the partners attempts to initiate sexual activity
- Absent or reduced sexual excitement or pleasure during sexual activity 75-100% od the time during sexual activity
- Absent or reduced sexual interest or arousal in response to internal or external sexual stimuli (e.g. written, verbal, visual)
- Absent or reduced genital or non-genital sensations during sexual activity 75-100% of sexual experiences
These symptoms will have persisted for a minimum of 6 months and be causing considerable distress to the individual
Difficulties with arousal
Repeated or frequent inability to maintain or attain an adequate lubrication-swelling response of sexual excitement. This can be linked with lack of desire as to begin the arousal response cycle desire plays a significant role at the early stages of arousal.
Female orgasmic disorder
Defined according to the APA (2013) “marked delay, marked infrequency of, absence of orgasm or markedly reduced intensity of orgasmic sensations”.
These symptoms need to be present for at least 6 months.
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GPPPD Genito-pelvic pain penetration disorder formerly known as vaginismus, dyspareunia or painful intercourse.
Vaginismus a tenacious continued involuntary spasm of the outer third of the vagina when sexual penetration is attempted. It has been described as feeling like a brick wall. Penetration is totally inhibited.
Dyspareunia/painful intercourse a persistent pain during and after sexual intercourse. Can be described as a burning sensation. Pain can be felt on the genitalia externally or deeper pain during intercourse.
Erectile, Ejaculation and Desire Problems
Male hypoactive sexual desire disorder. Deficient or absent sexual thoughts or fantasies, deficient or absent sexual desire for any sexual activity. These issues must have been present for 6 months or longer and causing significant distress to the individual.
Erectile dysfunction. Difficulty in obtaining an erection during sexual activity. Maintaining an erection through to resolution/ejaculation. A significant decrease in erectile rigidity. These conditions must have been present for 6 months or longer and causing significant distress to the individual. Is the issue lifelong or acquired, meaning it has recently impacted the individual who normally had satisfactory sexual activity?
Premature Ejaculation. Ejaculation always or nearly always happens prior to or within 1 minute of penetration. An inability to delay ejaculation. Having negative and distressing consequences, avoidance of sex affecting the individual’s life and relationships.
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Sexual Trauma
Experiences of sexual trauma such as child abuse, Rape can leave long term devastating effects on an individual. To seek help can be daunting if the victim is still encountering shame and guilt. It is not unusual to encounter feelings of fear, anger and a total loss of control over thoughts and even behaviours. I can offer a safe non-judgemental space to unpick the trauma. Helping to try and regain yourself as a whole person and love and value yourself again is crucial to heal from the scars sexual trauma leaves behind.