How do you know when you have found a healthy relationship? What are the indicators that keep a relationship happy and fulfilled?
- Allowing each other to be individuals as well as working successfully as a team. This maybe accommodating each other’s hobbies, work commitments, separate friendships. It also means giving each other the freedom to have different opinions and views. Allowing differences to be explored rather than creating conflict.
- Bringing out each other’s best qualities. Appreciating each other’s strengths and weaknesses so you can both help each other. Reminding each other of those strengths and not highlighting one another’s weaknesses.
- The ability to experience and adapt to change. Guiding each other through times where change maybe challenging yet supporting one another through the process.
- Welcoming and encouraging growth in your partner. This could be through self-exploration or accompanying each other through mutual journeys of discovery.
- Feeling true intimacy where mutual trust and respect is experienced. Feeling safe and secure through intimacy allowing for vulnerabilities to be exposed without fear.
- Giving and receiving with joy. Giving without expecting something in return. Receiving and enjoying the pleasure it brings.
- Never trying to change or control each other. Accepting each other with all their imperfect idiosyncrasies you fell for in the beginning. Never forcing each other to choose. Never trying to dominate.
- Accept limitations. You will both possess them. Help and understand them don’t use them as weapons.
- Understanding that each of you has a role within the relationship. Both roles are interdependent, allowing each of you to fulfil your individual responsibilities.
- Being fully present in the relationship. Taking equal responsibility for the nurturing and health of the partnership.
- Loving without conditions. Caring, kindness, laughter, and forgiveness.
I often talk about a relationship as the patient. The people within the relationship are the carers/doctors who care for the well being of the patient. The patient will survive all kinds of illnesses if the doctors work together as a team. There can’t be any power struggles or lack of commitment. Strengths and weaknesses are to be identified so the patient gains maximum protection from all responsible. Empathy and understanding need to be underpinning the nurturing and protection provided by the carers. Trusting and respecting each other’s decisions in the interests and welfare of the patient. Challenging, when necessary. Constructive criticism all in the best interests of the patient.
Working together to create a healthy environment for all to thrive and prosper. Remaining authentic as a person. Taking responsibility to care for the self to remain healthy enough to care for those around you.
Trying to see the best in people rather then searching for the worst. Nobody is perfect.